MY RHYMES: A New Me

A NEW ME

I'm lost in thoughts sometimes,
I don't want to write sometimes,
But still there are thoughts
swimming in my mind,
For the greed of solitude
And I starts like this,

Still waiting in the wonder
Of how I ended here
From my tender beginnings
To a path that's never clear,

In this sea life of mine,
I'm my own ripples,
I'm the sailor of storm,
And I'm the shore of home,

When I look at mirror of life,
I hardly recognize me,
I see a new me, a better me,
I see a best version of myself.

MY LIFE: Strangers Again

It's interesting to think about how we make people who used to be everything into nothing again. How we learn to forget. How we force forgetting. The path that was started so innocently has taken us to here, strangers again.

However, yeah like most we started as a strangers. I never wished that we would end up where we are today. To be honest, with the way our story began, I never thought it could possibly end like this. .

Be that as it may, every sentiments become empty thoughts when I look back now. Recalling that love is not what it generally appears. It's just so simple to forget.

From so long ago my question is if it really happened. The person used to be my best friend, the person who was the number one priority, the girl I thought could never exist, she was everything that I thought could be perfect in any girl.

Still after all these, we lost the fight with this society and all that of left is a mind with random memories from our faded period of time when this stranger was most important person in my life. Now, our lifes will continue on in different directions becoming STRANGERS AGAIN.

LIFE : Castle of Dreams

You were the most beautiful dream of my life..
Now you are the nightmare where I struggle to survive.. But before these nightmares there was a time when thinking about them was the most beautiful moment of life. When we were building that castle of dream.

I had built my dreams with all of my heart and love.
I had seen them growing within me and within you.
Long back, I was a dreamer and you mould me into a believer,
With that believe we had built our dreams step by step, 
We made it so far, 
We made it so high.
With love and care
With joy and sorrow
With hopes and struggles,

But when the storm came , you left at the first sight of rain..But our castle fought well and tried hard to retain whatever left of you. But soon it felt down, crashing everything whatever came on its way, even me. Every dream shattered into infinite pieces and nothing left to recollect. I flew in a pool of darkness and I felt like darkness is slowly pulling me down, to delete me from my own existence. All my emotions had been swirled in a tempest of pain and raged raw feeling, and I thought it’s going to go on forever. 
Somehow I survived but I had witnessed everything,
Making of dreams, 
Falling of dreams , 
Pain of dreams and
Dying of dreams.

I tried to collect the tiny shattered pieces of every single dream but in doing so I realised not all of a good dream is fulfilled. 
You can't win all the fights,
You've to loose sometimes,
That's how you learn,
That's how you grow,
That's how you evolve and
That's how you become the best version of yourself..

LIFE : His Fight, His Triumph

He used to think he was alone in his struggles. But with each passing tumbling stone all of his insecurities were banished as he realised it was not the him; the lone; battling life, there were millions of others countering this malady.

"We as a whole need to learn from each other and real change is slow," he said.

Never regret. Everything should be the way it ended up being. Quit pointing the finger at life for being out of line. That is the manner by which it is. Worrying over it won't help and it's never too late where it is possible to start from the very beginning again.

The best lessons he has learned in dealing with his life can be summed up in three words: Never Give Up. This meant that he always had a new challenge to go up against. Yet, he discovered that the best approach was not to let his obsessions dictate his life. 

Over the time, his struggle taught him to treat life as a gift it seems to be.

© rahuldhanik.blogspot.com

© samsara_thewanderingmonk

MY RHYMES :One Step Closer

When you wake up in the morning, you always asking yourself questions, whether you realize or not. Today I woke up at 4am, I don’t know how or why, but somehow I woke up. I believe it might be due to I’ve left my part time job at Amazon, which had night shifts. For the last couple of months the first thing I would do every single time when I woke up is turn on the laptop and watch some videos on YouTube. But today something different has happened, I was way far from music and my mind was into my past and that’s when I realized that my life has somehow changed completely in last 4 to 5 months. I asked myself two questions “What am I doing with my life and how has not being with Numb changed my life?” 

It’s so strange to think somebody I knew so well is now a totally stranger to me, but that somebody is still matters to me. I realized not all of a good dream is fulfilled. Everything ends, that’s how we know that everything begins. All good things must come to an end, and my relationship is no different. Sometime it’s not about the happy ending, sometime it’s about the story. This realization alone gave me the perspective that is going to help me answer these two seemingly complex questions.

ONE STEP CLOSER

It’s a complete new day

Simply relax, sit by the window

Feel the wind in your hair

Feel the mist in your eyes

Give the morning a chance to inspire you

Give the sun a chance to shine all over

Let’s take one more step in the future

Let’s turn one more page of the past

Everybody has regrets

Everybody commits mistakes

Everybody has a terrible past

Don’t hide your scars

Wear them as a motivation

It’s difficult, to let go and move on

Let your own life be an inspiration

Because one step is one step closer towards your dreams

Problems aren’t going to alter themselves

Difficulties aren’t going to vanish

This journey will be tough, there will be lows

It’ll take time, possibly days, perhaps months, might be years

But at last, it will set you free

Remember this,

Life, gives you a possibility

To move on with every new dawn

© SAMSARA

© rahuldhanik.blogspot.com

RHYMES : The Death Song

I'm scared of clocks now

Cause soon, they'll never tick for you anymore

Outside the window

It's pouring jazz and blues

But it never rains for you

And I cannot hold my tears

Knowing soon you won't be here

It's more than words to hold your hand

I hope you can understand

It's more than hope that keeps me here

I'd be with you anywhere, my dear

It's more than love that makes me wait

Knowing it's all too late

Your face get's more and more pale now

And now my bread has gone stale, oh

I'm such a worthless bedside mystic

I cannot chew, the lumps resist it

Searching for words for some relief

While I hide away and scream

But you're just waiting for death to come

It's in the background like a redrum

The warm sound of your voice is still

As angels cry

Falleth from the skies

You can rest now your chest and lay, my dear

Much I'd love to have you near

It's more than words to hold your hand

I hope you can understand

It's more than hope that keeps me here

I'd be with you anywhere, my dear

It's more than love that makes me wait

Knowing it's all too late

© +Chandra Dhanik 

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The death song - Chandra Dhanik live at CAMA ATK

The death song - Chandra w/ Jason Snook and Vũ Đinh Trọng Thắng

R H Y M E S : I 'm s o r r y....

A random composition I went across to..

I can really relate it to me.... 

Certainly this is me...

A new me....

And I'm sorry...

I'm sorry I kiss your lips 

in my sleep,

I'm sorry you're on my mind 

as I lose myself and find myself,

I'm sorry I imagine you

by my side as I cook myself 

meals, singing the songs I imagine

would be our favourite tunes.

I'm sorry I reach for you with my arm 

every morning as I wake,

just to find that you ae not there.

I'm sorry we're apart...

I'm sorry I'm falling in love...

I'm sorry I'm here,

while you're there.....

© ANONYMOUS

MY RHYMES : Here comes the rain again....

It’s one more morning,

And I am gazing at the sky,

I saw the dim dark clouds,

And I think of you…

Drop by drop it has begun to rain,

I can feel you when the droplets touch me,

The sound of pouring rain,

The whisper of wind,

Looking at the rain drop tumbling down my window,

And I think of you…

I want to walk in this rain,

I want to move in this rain,

But when I do as such, 

I discover you next to me,

Drenched in the memories of time went through with you,

Memories of my past flow with the rain,

And following the rain, I remember us...

With the tears tumbling down my heart, 

I attempt to erase you,

But I think of you again at the sound of rain,

Are you listening to this sound?

We, who used to love the rain.

Do you remember me?

I miss you when it rains…

Despite of the fact you’ve left,

Regardless of the possibility that you forget me,

Please remember us again when it rains..

Because I miss us when it rains...

LIFE : " We Need To Talk" As Hard To Say As It Is To Hear

“We need to talk”

Hearing these four simple words from your relationship partner never feels good. Our heart shrinks, your palms gets sweaty because it’s never about we need to talk about what a great relationship we have or our best friend are going to spend their rest of life together. It’s never that, it’s always we need to talk about the beginning of the end.

Whether our relationship is awful, good or great we don’t like ending. It’s a human nature we don’t like to lose things and especially we don’t like to lose things that are important to us. And make no mistakes relationships are the single most important thing to us in our life. It’s the source of our all best memories, it’s the source of our all worst memories. When we think back on our life when we are 80 or 90 year old and we look back over the course of our lifetime, we are not going to think I wish I earned a better phone, I wish I spent more time on internet etc. It’s not going to be any of those kind of things, it’s going to be I wish I spent more time with the people I love. Because our relationships they build us, they define us, they sustain us and they can break us too. And we all know relationship breakup can be tough, loneliness, depression, increase drug use. We lose a relationship, part of who we are as a person goes with it.

Breakups happen and relationships fail and when they fail it hurts because before that we were a happy, vibrant person, very much in love, things are going perfectly. We breakup and we are alone, we are sad, we are disappointed, things hurts, we are heart broken, we are confused.

No one likes being in this situation but life thankfully happens on continue, no matter it’s a good thing or a bad thing. But it goes other way too, sometimes our relationship is really isn’t perfect, so some breakups are worthy of celebrations. So when our relationship doesn’t help us to become a better person ending it does. Which is important to realize.

Relationships are important, time is short and mistakes are costly. Relationships should be the best part of your life. Hopefully we will find one that will build us and sustain us, hopefully we have that. But if we don’t, we have to ask our self what is one hour, one day, one week, one month, one life time of our happiness worth. Because great relationship seldom fail, bad one do as they should and when they do, when those relationship fails they end everything. Relationships are broken that doesn’t mean you have to be broken forever. Something to take advantage of not to conceal. This what can exactly happen to our relationship, our relationship lead by some cracks but those cracks, those imperfections, those are the sign of strength and beauty because breakup don’t have to leave you broken because you are stronger then you know.

As Ralph Waldo Emerson said “Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail”.

MY TALES : I free myself

I TRIED TO SPEAK TO PEOPLE BUT THEY WERE COLD AS ICE, SO NOW I SPEAK IN MY MIND TO THE DEMONS IN MY PARADISE.

@The Obsolete Poet

Thepu: Thank you.

Numb: For what?

Thepu: For everything, every day and talking to me.

Numb: Have you forgotten that it’s you who has created me in your mind? Thepu I'm not real.

Thepu: I know you are not real. I know that you're already gone Numb. However, it's the only way I'm left with to communicate with you. I am so sorry Numb, I have failed everything. I don’t know how I am ever going to forgive myself.

Numb: You can’t blame yourself.

Thepu: But I do. If I hadn’t have…

Numb: It’s not your fault. You loved me I know that and I loved you, you know that. That won’t go away. I know you think you’re never going to find someone like me again, and well you’re right. It’ll be impossible to find someone with my specific intellectual and beautiful gifts.

Thepu: hahaha…see you still makes me laugh.

Numb: I know it seems impossible, but one day you’re going to be ready for someone else. And she’s going to be incredible. Know who I’ve always liked?

Thepu: Who?

Numb: That your childhood imaginary girl with basketball in her hand.

Thepu: I have never even mentioned it to you.

Numb: Yeah, you’re right. It’s almost like I’m the manifestation of your subconscious.

Thepu: You are still that funny.

Numb: I am going to go.

Thepu: I don’t want you to.

Numb: I know…but I am already gone.

Thepu: Good bye Numb.

POST SCRIPT:

We can never wound the soul, just as we can never wound God, but we can become imprisoned by our memories, and that makes our lives wretched even when we have everything we need in order to be happy. Sometime these memories holds you back, where you don’t want to stay anymore and you blame yourself for your present. And this feeling of guilt and frustration is still there with you. You keep on asking a same question “Why I can’t be happy? “. So in order to overcome this sense of dissatisfaction you need to change everything and move forward, you need to forgive your past, you need to forgive yourself.

I have been through this since very long. But I refused to follow my fate, because that tragedy was unacceptable to me because I always blame myself for the same. Tragedy always brings about radical change in our lives, a change that is associated with the same principle: loss. When faced by any loss, there is no point in trying to recover what has been lost. It’s best to take advantage of the large space that opens up before us and fill it with something new. In theory, every loss is for our good. In practice, though, that is when we question the existence of God and ask ourselves: What did I do to deserve this? But we need to understand this anyone truly committed to life never stops walking.

As Paulo Coelho very rightly quoted the importance of forgiving yourself in his book ALEPH :

I free myself from hatred through forgiveness and love. I understand that suffering, when it cannot be avoided, is here to help me on my way to glory. I understand that everything is connected, that all roads meet and that all rivers flow into the same sea. That is why I am, at this moment, an instrument of forgiveness, forgiveness for crimes that were done by me, one crime I know about, the other I do not.

I will be capable of loving, regardless of whether I am loved in return,

Of giving, even when I have nothing,

Of working happily, even in the midst of difficulties,

Of holding out my hand, even when utterly alone and abandoned,

Of drying my tears, even while I weep,

Of believing, even when no one believes in me.

So it is. So it will be.

MY TALES : Love is about sacrifices too...

I TRIED TO SPEAK TO PEOPLE BUT THEY WERE COLD AS ICE, SO NOW I SPEAK IN MY MIND TO THE DEMONS IN MY PARADISE.

@The Obsolete Poet

Numb: I can’t be with you.

Thepu: Yes, you can because that’s what both of us want. You know, things can be different. I could be different. And I am promising you, I’m swearing to you, there will be no more lies.

Numb: You know, no matter how much you love me, there’s always going to be a part of you that defaults to the man you were. And sooner than we both think, you’re going to be stuck in a situation where you have to make a decision that requires you to hide things from me again.

Thepu: See, you can’t know that.

Numb: I do know that, and you know that too Thepu. That’s this life you don’t need me, you’ll be fine.

Thepu: So what does that means?

Numb: It means that it is too hard to be with you every day and not be with you. That’s not fair to either of us. You don’t give up, that’s what makes you Thepu. Wonderful career is waiting for you ahead but there’s no fixing this. We have to let each other go.

Thepu: Numb, I don’t want to let you go.

Numb: Even I don’t want to let you go. But I’m already gone Thepu. You just have to get used to it....

POST SCRIPT : 

I don't know what is more appropriate "to love someone enough to let her go" or "to love someone enough to never let her go".

On the off chance that you have reasons to trust that she would be more satisfied and happier far from you (which implies that she's not happy with you or the relationship is not working for her for some unkown reasons) then, if you let her go, you are telling that you love her. It's like you want to see her to be happy regardless of every single reason, no matter with who and it's like ALRIGHT for you, yet you sort of make this sacrifice so as to make her life simpler, easier and less difficult. As I would see it, love is about sacrifices as well, if you REALLY love her, you want to see her to have a cheerful life and a smile all over right? That is it. 

I know it's entirely difficult to think this way yet we can't see just our side of happines always. We ought to look the other in her eyes everyday and locate a little satisfaction. If we don't, we try to fill the unfilled eyes and if we are not ready to do it so letting her go is the best. It doesn't mean you are giving up on her, it means that you respect her decision. 

I know it's much harder to let you know... It can keep going forever to heal if you genuinely loves her however the reality of the situation will become obvious eventually and the memories will turn sweet and it will get less demanding and easier. Time makes everything less demanding and easier.. furthermore, you can even love once more, keep it in mind !

MY TALES: Revisit your past in order to move on with life

I TRIED TO SPEAK TO PEOPLE BUT THEY WERE COLD AS ICE, SO NOW I SPEAK IN MY MIND TO THE DEMONS IN MY PARADISE.
@The Obsolete Poet


Rahul: I think you should go.

Thepu: What ?

Rahul: For an outing. I think you should go. Instead of trying to bury yourself in your work and forget about your past, why don’t you take the night to celebrate your past? Go to a restaurant, have a glass of wine, toast your past and all the wonderful memories you had with her.

Thepu: I don’t know. That just seems not right. I mean, she’s gone. I am supposed to move on, right? I mean, that’s the healthy thing to do?

Rahul: Well, there’s no right or wrong way to grieve. Sometimes allowing yourself to indulge in memories of a loved one is the best way to get closure.

Thepu: Should I be paying you for this or….

Rahul: Well, let’s just call this two friends talking…

POST SCRIPT: 

Sometimes the only way to move forward is to revisit the things in your past that were holding you back. We have to deal with them head on, no matter how scary they may be. Because once we do, we’ll see that we can go further than we have ever imagined.