MY TALES : I free myself

I TRIED TO SPEAK TO PEOPLE BUT THEY WERE COLD AS ICE, SO NOW I SPEAK IN MY MIND TO THE DEMONS IN MY PARADISE.

@The Obsolete Poet

Thepu: Thank you.

Numb: For what?

Thepu: For everything, every day and talking to me.

Numb: Have you forgotten that it’s you who has created me in your mind? Thepu I'm not real.

Thepu: I know you are not real. I know that you're already gone Numb. However, it's the only way I'm left with to communicate with you. I am so sorry Numb, I have failed everything. I don’t know how I am ever going to forgive myself.

Numb: You can’t blame yourself.

Thepu: But I do. If I hadn’t have…

Numb: It’s not your fault. You loved me I know that and I loved you, you know that. That won’t go away. I know you think you’re never going to find someone like me again, and well you’re right. It’ll be impossible to find someone with my specific intellectual and beautiful gifts.

Thepu: hahaha…see you still makes me laugh.

Numb: I know it seems impossible, but one day you’re going to be ready for someone else. And she’s going to be incredible. Know who I’ve always liked?

Thepu: Who?

Numb: That your childhood imaginary girl with basketball in her hand.

Thepu: I have never even mentioned it to you.

Numb: Yeah, you’re right. It’s almost like I’m the manifestation of your subconscious.

Thepu: You are still that funny.

Numb: I am going to go.

Thepu: I don’t want you to.

Numb: I know…but I am already gone.

Thepu: Good bye Numb.

POST SCRIPT:

We can never wound the soul, just as we can never wound God, but we can become imprisoned by our memories, and that makes our lives wretched even when we have everything we need in order to be happy. Sometime these memories holds you back, where you don’t want to stay anymore and you blame yourself for your present. And this feeling of guilt and frustration is still there with you. You keep on asking a same question “Why I can’t be happy? “. So in order to overcome this sense of dissatisfaction you need to change everything and move forward, you need to forgive your past, you need to forgive yourself.

I have been through this since very long. But I refused to follow my fate, because that tragedy was unacceptable to me because I always blame myself for the same. Tragedy always brings about radical change in our lives, a change that is associated with the same principle: loss. When faced by any loss, there is no point in trying to recover what has been lost. It’s best to take advantage of the large space that opens up before us and fill it with something new. In theory, every loss is for our good. In practice, though, that is when we question the existence of God and ask ourselves: What did I do to deserve this? But we need to understand this anyone truly committed to life never stops walking.

As Paulo Coelho very rightly quoted the importance of forgiving yourself in his book ALEPH :

I free myself from hatred through forgiveness and love. I understand that suffering, when it cannot be avoided, is here to help me on my way to glory. I understand that everything is connected, that all roads meet and that all rivers flow into the same sea. That is why I am, at this moment, an instrument of forgiveness, forgiveness for crimes that were done by me, one crime I know about, the other I do not.

I will be capable of loving, regardless of whether I am loved in return,

Of giving, even when I have nothing,

Of working happily, even in the midst of difficulties,

Of holding out my hand, even when utterly alone and abandoned,

Of drying my tears, even while I weep,

Of believing, even when no one believes in me.

So it is. So it will be.