I Miss Us

12.30 AM,   24-Nov-2015

Hey!

Hi Numb, how are you?

I am writing you just because my head is bursting and I can’t hold it for now. Tonight I am writing the saddest lines of my life. Its 24 November today and it’s been perfectly 7 year of togetherness, Congratulations. As you know things were just awesome between us. I have been missing you but today I don’t want to hide anything. So sorry for this trouble Numb.

7 Year = 84 Months = 2555 Days and ye dil maange more… (See I still do the calculations)

This such a long time, now you are a part of me and you are unreplaceable Numb. When I look back, the only thing comes to my head is US and this US is the only precious gem I have earned in my life. But the ball is not in my court now. I am still fighting to find out a way to think that I don’t have you, to feel that I have lost you. I feel that I have failed this relationship. At this point I can’t face mirror, I have lost my confidence, my dignity. I have no future numb. I keep myself busy with things to do, but every time I pause I still think of you. It’s a rough thing to do especially seeing how close we have been in our past. You are the love of my life, the first everything and this was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. But remember always that what we have shared will always be with me. From the first day till the end of days of life you have my heart.

I never wished that we would end up where we are today. To be honest, with the way our story began, I never thought it could possibly end like this. You know I am not strong enough to deal with this pain. I thought we had more than just potential, I thought we had a future. And there was a time when we both believed in that future, and now that I have no choice but to admit that that time is gone. To be honest, though, I am too broken to believe in anything right now. I came NICMAR with a passion and now it’s seems like I am losing it (Sorry Numb). I don’t believe in myself anymore, I have failed everything, my dreams are dead, I am hopeless, but still trying to find the peace for my soul. I have said it before, that my love for you is so pure and I would have given everything and anything to love you the way you deserved to be loved. You are an amazing person and I miss you so much already, I don’t know how I could possibly miss you more. I am sure I will though.

I know we haven't seen each other, and we didn’t talk to each other in a while. But I need you to know, that I have been doing lots of thinking lately. And, I need you to know that! I miss you. Nor I regret what happened or I need to see you once more. Just I miss you!

It’s so strange to think somebody I knew so well, is now a total stranger to me. That sometimes I got whole day without thinking about you (can you believe) more often than not I love myself to get included into something since it makes it easier to live. But then I find something. A photo, a memory, hahaha my endless stupid talks and getting thoughts of losing you was crashes down on me. Part of me need to see you once more, to hold you once more. To kiss you once more. Be that as it may, these sentiments become empty thoughts when I look back now. Recalling that love is not what it generally appears. It's just so simple to forget. But this isn't regret Numb, You had your reasons for ending it and those were substantial as ever for you. To back at start, we didn't require any reasons to fall in love, we simply did. The reasons came at the end, never think sense then has been about reasons. What's more, that is great, I mean at least you know that your feelings has changed. But a part me just misses love someone and having them love you back. That is all, I think about what I am stating is I had things well with you. We had everything was just great. I trust everything would be great. I hope you found a love that is every one of the things I couldn't be. In any case, small part of me still needs you and trusts that you still remember what it was all like before all the reasons and that you miss me too...

Be well my love. I can only wish the best for you.